Friendships are some of the most important relationships students will ever form, yet many teens “stumble into” friendships by proximity rather than on purpose—and that lack of intentionality often leads to conflict and pain.
This 6‑week series identifies objective, biblical characteristics of real friendship and helps students choose (and become) the kind of friends who reflect Jesus. The series preface also clarifies a crucial nuance: we’re not saying non‑Christians can’t be good friends; rather, the deepest friendships believers will experience are with people who model their lives after Christ.
Forming friend groups by convenience instead of intention, which leaves them vulnerable to hurt and red flags they might otherwise catch.
Confusion about what love actually is, which turns into preference and partiality—being kind only to those who are kind first.
Performing spirituality (or promising to pray) to impress peers instead of genuinely seeking God together.
Calling out others’ faults while ignoring their own, which quickly unravels friendships.
Misusing the “Golden Rule” and giving friends what they want instead of what they need.
Real Friends walks students through Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5–7) to name six Christlike marks of real friendship—truthfulness, love without preference, prayerfulness, humility, wisdom in meeting needs, and gospel‑shaped dependence.
The Point: Real friends mean what they say.
Scripture: Matthew 5:33–37 (NIV)
Summary: Jesus teaches that our “Yes” should be “Yes” and our “No,” “No,” calling students to reject embellishment and practice truthfulness in friendship.
The Point: Real friends show love instead of preference.
Scripture: Matthew 5:43–48 (NIV)
Summary: Rather than loving only those who love us, Jesus calls us to agape—giving others what they need most—even when they don’t “deserve” it.
The Point: Real friends pray for and with each other.
Scripture: Matthew 6:5–13 (NIV)
Summary: Jesus warns against performative prayer and gives a pattern that centers God’s name, kingdom, provision, forgiveness, and guidance—something friends can practice together.
The Point: Real friends admit their faults.
Scripture: Matthew 7:1–5 (NIV)
Summary: Before addressing a friend’s “speck,” Jesus commands us to remove the “plank” from our own eye—owning our failures so restoration can happen.
The Point: Real friends do what you need.
Scripture: Matthew 7:7–12 (CSB)
Summary: Jesus’ true “Golden Rule” is rooted in a good Father who gives good gifts; real friends treat others according to God’s heart, meeting needs over wants.
The Point: Real friends know they’re poor in spirit.
Scripture: Matthew 7:13–14 (NIV); see also Matthew 5:3 (NIV)
Summary: Real friends walk the narrow way by trusting Jesus over self‑reliance—living humbly (“poor in spirit”) and keeping eyes fixed on Him.
Video Messages
Teaching Guides (Message Manuscripts)
Small Group Questions
Series Graphics
Q1: What’s the big idea behind Real Friends?
A: Across six weeks, students examine objective, biblical characteristics of a good friend and learn to choose friendships that reflect Jesus.
Q2: Does this series say non‑Christians can’t be real friends?
A: No. The preface clarifies that while non‑Christians can be good friends, believers will experience their deepest friendships with those modeling their lives after Christ.
Q3: What passages does the series use?
A: The series moves through the Sermon on the Mount: Matthew 5:33–37; 5:43–48; 6:5–13; 7:1–5; 7:7–12; 7:13–14 (with Matthew 5:3 as a recurring theme).
Q4: What core habits will students practice?
A: Truthful speech, love without partiality, praying with and for friends, owning their faults, meeting needs over wants, and humble dependence on Jesus.
Q5: What’s the repeated posture that ties it together?
A: Jesus’ call to be “poor in spirit”—a humble, dependent posture that shapes every friendship decision.
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