Building a Volunteer Team That Feels Like Family
Four practical ways to build a volunteer team that feels like family—from giving everyone a meaningful role to making room for connection and mutual support.
A few years ago, I had a student call me. She was telling me about a friend who was questioning his faith. She kept asking what she should do or what study she needed to show him to get his faith back on track. She went on and on, telling me about all the things she could do to help pull him out of this “hole.”
I just sat back and listened. I nodded along, agreeing with the things she had already done. But once she took a breath, she asked, “Aidan, how do I help him? He’s doubting God.”
I calmly told her, “Let him wrestle.” She didn’t love that answer, and I don’t blame her.
Sometimes, when we see a close friend struggling with their faith, or when we’re in the middle of our own doubts, it feels scary. It feels like we’ve failed. But the truth is, doubt can be an important part of our walk with Christ. I know, I know. That was a pretty bold thing for me to say. But before you write me off, please hear me out.
I think of doubt as asking God a ton of questions. And that can seem like we don’t trust Him. But I see it as part of an everyday relationship. Think about it this way: If you wanted to start dating someone, you’d take time to get to know them. Some questions would be lighthearted, and others might be heavy. You’d ask them because you want to understand them better.
It’s the same with God. He wants to have a deep relationship with us, so asking Him questions isn’t going to scare Him away. Another thing to remember is that God is pretty tough. I promise there’s no question He can’t handle. But knowing this doesn’t always make the guilt go away. In some ways, it can make it feel even heavier.
We’ll get into that in just a moment, but first, I want to make sure you know two quick things:
Doubts are a normal part of many people’s walks with Christ. You aren’t responsible for having every answer or making every question disappear.
It means they’re wrestling with questions, and those questions deserve space to be explored honestly.
We will dive into those two a bit more, but I think it’s important to understand how doubt can actually help someone grow in their faith.
Doubts have a fun way of sneaking up on us sometimes. They can start with a very simple question: “Is following Jesus worth it?” You may try to push the thought away and move on, but that little thought keeps coming back. Sometimes it starts with bigger questions, and sometimes it starts because of something happening. No matter how the doubt got in, it did.
Our first response might be to push it away or feel guilty. But what if diving into that thought more could actually help? What if, instead of telling our students to “just pray,” we could encourage them to ask these questions, find the answers, or wrestle with not having an answer?
You may think I’m crazy or taking the easy way out, but trust me, it’s not easy. Our first instinct is to fix the issue for the student, to give them the right study or the right prayer. But sometimes what a student needs is someone they can safely talk through these questions with.
After my talk with my student, I went to see if I had completely messed her up or maybe given good advice. I found a 2017 Barna study on spiritual doubt, and one part really stood out to me. Among those who’d experienced doubt, 95% of evangelicals, 87% of practicing Christians, and 81% of active church attenders said their time of doubt strengthened their faith. Not only did I calm down from thinking I ruined my student, but I started thinking about my own times of doubt.
Whenever I faced doubt, I would turn to one of my leaders, and I can’t think of a moment where they gave me an answer instead of looking for one with me. They didn’t shame me for asking questions. Instead of just throwing the Bible at me, they would say, “Let’s find out together.”
I didn’t know at that moment what was happening, but now I’m able to see that they were teaching me how to find answers from God. Instead of hiding or ignoring it, they helped me build my faith in God.
As leaders, that is our goal. We’re not here to force students to accept every answer we give them. We’re here to share the truth we believe, help them explore it, and walk alongside them as they figure out what it means for their own lives.
I find it very helpful to have a more detailed game plan because these hard conversations normally come out of the blue and with no prep time. So, if you’re like me, here are a few dos and don’ts for these conversations.
Sometimes a student needs to get the question out of their head. Saying things aloud helps people process and understand more of what they are questioning. Give them room to talk before jumping in with an answer.
Asking questions is a healthy part of growing in our faith. Even Jesus cried out to God with questions. Be careful not to make students feel like they’re doing something wrong by asking them. Comments like “You just need to have more faith” or “You shouldn’t question God” can shut down a conversation before it really begins.
Prayer is a huge part of our relationship with God, and we should absolutely encourage students to pray through their doubts. But there are other things we can do as leaders, too. Pray with them and for them, but don’t leave the conversation there.
Sometimes the best thing we can say as leaders is, “I don’t know.” We don’t have to have all the answers, just a heart willing to walk with our students.
Don’t sit there thinking about what to say. Just listen. Show your student you want to hear their questions and that it’s okay to have them.
Get them thinking. Sometimes we let a “small” question consume our brains. But when we slow down and actually think through it, we might realize it doesn’t have as strong of a hold on us as we thought.
Asking questions can help us understand what’s really bothering a student and help them better understand their own thoughts, too. Here are a few questions you could ask:
Find resources together. It could be a Bible verse, a study, an article, or anything else that can be helpful for you and your student. You don’t have to do all the research yourself. Make it something you can learn about together.
If your students are asking why they believe what they believe, Resonant is a five-week youth ministry series that gives you a place to explore those questions together.
Don’t let the conversation go cold. Check in, make plans to meet and talk, or even study together. It’s just another way to show your student that they matter and that you are thinking of them.
These dos and don’ts are just some helpful things to keep in mind. If you get off track, that’s okay. There is no one right way to have these conversations. The main thing is to show them you care and that you’re with them in this. That is what will matter most to students.
As I shared before, the main thing when having these conversations is to show up for your student. Show them that these questions or doubts don’t make them a “bad Christian.” It’s really normal. We all face these moments.
Maybe, if the time is right, share how you’ve faced doubts, too. But just show up for them. They came to you because they trust you. Now it’s your job to show them that trust is well placed.
My leaders did this for me, and I try to do this for my students. We all need people we can be open and honest with. God created us to do life together through the good and the bad. So, walk with them. Don’t try and “fix” it. Just sit with them in it. Let God do the rest.
As always, you got this!
Four practical ways to build a volunteer team that feels like family—from giving everyone a meaningful role to making room for connection and mutual support.
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