Raising Up Student Leaders: Empowering Teens to Lead in Youth Ministry
You probably got into youth ministry for pretty much one reason: you want to raise up the next generation of
The thing I love most about youth ministry is—drum roll, please: games. I love creating games, finding games our students love, and especially finding games that everyone can enjoy, from the loudest student in the room to the quietest.
But here’s the reality: sometimes games flop.
Sometimes a game that looked amazing on paper falls completely flat. Instead of adding energy to the room, it sucks the life out of it.
If you’re anything like me, you probably spend a lot of time picking games, planning them out, gathering supplies, and getting excited to see your students play. So, when a game doesn’t land, it’s hard not to take it personally. After all, you’re the one who chose it.
Thankfully, a game flopping doesn’t mean you’re a bad youth pastor. Often, there’s a reason it didn’t work.
Here are three reasons some youth group games flop.
Every game has rules. Some games have one or two rules. Others have five or ten. Either way, the rules are there to help students know how to play the game and how to win.
This might seem like an obvious one, but I’ve found that one of the biggest reasons games flop is because students simply don’t understand the instructions.
As youth pastors, we’ve usually read through the rules a dozen times before Wednesday night. We’ve played the game in our heads. We’ve thought through every scenario. But our students are hearing the rules for the very first time.
So, we explain the game, everyone nods, and we think, “Great, let’s play.” Then thirty seconds into the game, students are asking questions, arguing over the rules, or just standing there because they have no idea what’s going on.
That’s not the kind of chaos you’re hoping for.
And let’s be honest, once a game starts, it’s really hard to stop everything, get everyone’s attention back, and explain the rules again. At that point, you’ve usually lost half the room.
Before you start the game, ask one or two students to explain the rules back to the group in their own words. If they can explain it, there’s a good chance everyone understands. If they can’t, take another minute to clarify. That extra sixty seconds can save a game that otherwise would’ve flopped.
A lot of youth group games require volunteers. We need students to come to the front, be the example, or do something that puts all eyes on them.
Maybe they have to:
Depending on your group, your regular students might jump at those opportunities. But your first-time guests? Probably not.
Every youth group has students who are still trying to figure out if your ministry is a safe place. They’re watching the leaders. They’re watching the other students. These kids are trying to decide if they belong.
If the first thing you ask them to do is risk embarrassing themselves in front of everyone, you’ve asked them to be vulnerable before you’ve earned their trust.
That doesn’t mean you should never play those kinds of games. It just means you need to be intentional about when you play them. Spend time creating an environment where students feel safe, welcomed, and accepted first. Once trust is there, you’ll be surprised how many students are willing to step out of their comfort zone.
Before asking a student to be the example, have a leader or, better yet, be the example yourself. When students see the adults willing to look a little silly first, it lowers the pressure and makes volunteering feel a whole lot less intimidating.
Nothing kills momentum like waiting.
No one likes waiting. Waiting for your turn. Waiting while the leader takes forever to explain the game. Or maybe waiting for a volunteer to finish a challenge. Waiting while two students compete and everyone else just watches.
The longer students are standing around without anything to do, the more likely they are to pull out their phones, start side conversations, distract the people playing, or simply check out.
I learned this lesson the hard way.
This past summer camp, we played a brand new game called Splash. The premise was simple: one student would come to the front, I’d dump a random liquid on them, and they had to guess what it was. I was pumped about this game. It was messy, it was new, and our students love messy games. I intentionally picked liquids that I thought would be fun, but also difficult to identify just by having them dumped on your head.
The problem? We had over 70 students at camp. With only one student playing at a time, there was a lot of waiting.
For the first few minutes, everyone was locked in. They were laughing and having a good time. But after about five minutes, the energy completely shifted. Students started talking. Some lost interest. Two boys even started wrestling while I was getting the next cup ready.
I immediately stopped the game and told them to knock it off. When they walked away while I was still talking, I felt frustrated. Honestly, I felt disrespected. Here I was trying to run this “really cool game,” and they were acting like they couldn’t care less.
But after camp, I replayed the whole situation in my head.
The truth is that their behavior made sense. They had been standing around for several minutes with nothing to do. They were waiting for the next person to play. Waiting for the next splash. Waiting for the game to end because they already knew they probably weren’t getting picked.
The issue wasn’t that they were bad kids. The issue was that my game had too much downtime.
That experience completely changed the way I think about games. Now, whenever I’m planning one, I ask myself, “What are the students who aren’t playing doing?” If the answer is “waiting,” I know I probably need to rethink the game.
A) Choose games that involve multiple students at the same time whenever possible.
B) If only one student can play at a time, build in multiple rounds so more students get opportunities to participate.
C) During tournaments, give waiting students a role. Let them keep score, reset equipment, judge challenges, or cheer on the competitors. Students are much less likely to disengage when they have a job to do.
Youth ministry isn’t about finding the perfect game. It’s about finding games that fit your environment and connect with your students.
The truth is, you’re going to have games that flop. And that’s okay.
When a game falls flat, don’t take it personally. Learn from it. Make a note of it. Throw it on the “don’t play this for a while” list and move on.
Remember, games are a tool. They’re there to help students laugh together, lower their walls, and build relationships. If a game is doing the opposite: creating confusion, awkwardness, or frustration, it probably isn’t the right game for your group, at least not right now.
I know that’s easier said than done. I’m the kind of person who spends a lot of time planning games, gathering supplies, and getting excited about them. So, when one flops, my first instinct is to think I flopped.
But I’ve learned that every game that doesn’t work teaches me something. Sometimes I need to explain the rules better. Or sometimes there’s too much downtime. Sometimes I ask students to step too far outside their comfort zone too quickly.
So let the game flop.
Learn from it.
Give yourself and your students plenty of grace.
Then keep looking for the games that your students will be talking about long after youth group is over.
You probably got into youth ministry for pretty much one reason: you want to raise up the next generation of
Have you ever walked into your small group completely ready? You looked over your questions, took notes during the message,
Dribble a basketball. There’s nicotine in cigarettes. Have a wide stance on defense. Throw a spiral. Run routes. Type 2